Thursday, 26 January 2012

Crying on the Inside

Most private schools in South Africa are Catholic and I am in one called St. Catherines. My parents put me in private school because they want the best for my education. I really like my school and I am very happy there.

Because of the fact that I am in a Catholic School I am forced to do Religious Education 3 times a week. I dont particulary enjoy it because I do not believe in anything they teach me. I do try and study hard for it because I don't want to fail any of my subjects. This is very difficult because it is confusing to me.

We are taught by a nun called Sister Bernadett. She is a very kind lady and I have always liked her for that. Earlier this week however she asked a question that made me feel extremely uncomfortable.

"Who thinks they need God in their life" she asked the class. All of the children put their hands up except me. The whole class - except my best friends -  turned and looked at me like I was a freak. I wanted to cry and was in fact crying on the inside because I did not want them to see that I felt hurt.

Afterwards my best friends could see that I wanted to cry and they came and hugged me and said that I musn't worry about it. When I went home I told my mom about it and she said I must not let anyone make me feel that way. Let them believe what they believe.

Even though my friends and my mom tried to make me feel better I can't help the way I feel. I still feel like the odd one out and that the other kids think badly of me.

Hopefully if it happens again I will have the strength to say to them that I am an Atheist and I believe what I believe no matter how they feel about it.


  1. I think it's normal to feel that way since you are surrounded by believers. If they teach respect at your school then they should respect your beliefs (or as they might say: lack of -but that's irrelevant) as you respect theirs. I suggest to find a way to express that sadness out (find a cool hobby outside school) so you can feel better and keep it up! If you are not convinced of believing then don't force yourself into it.

  2. Thanks for your kind words Macielo. I appreciate your support.

  3. Hey there X

    Sorry, but I'm only catching up on your blog now *blush*, things have been a bit hectic.
    I can totally relate to how you feel, and it's not fun at all. When my folks found out that I was no longer a Christian, they freaked and disowned me. Now I was more than twice your age when this happened to me, so I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for you.
    You are very blessed though to have intelligent and open minded parents, who support you, and friends who are willing to stick by you even though they may not have the same beliefs as you. Try and always concentrate on those positive aspects, and your heart will always be filled with joy. ;-)

    Keep up the good work.

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